It's Friday - What Can Possibly Go Wrong?

A weekly newsletter from Jodi Taylor

This week we have:

• A free Chronicles of St Mary’s story - The Last Laugh by Jodi Taylor

• Jodi Taylor Shop & JodiWorld Events — July Update

• Jodi Taylor Book Recommendation: Altered Carbon by Richard Morgan💙📚

• A joke from the #SillySunday thread in Jodi’s Fans and Readers Facebook Group

• The Book of the Month is Hard Time by Jodi Taylor

  There’s plenty to read this week and you can see everything new on the blog too. CLICK HERE for the blog.

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The Last Laugh - a free Jodi Taylor short story

Max is due for her annual check-up - what could possibly go wrong?

I have to say I genuinely have no idea why people are always banging on about my weight. For everyone’s information I can still fit into the socks I bought ten years ago. Although it’s fair to say I’m the only person who finds this feat even remotely impressive.

However, with my annual physical coming up next Tuesday I decided four days was long enough to undo the ravages caused by twelve months of intensive sausages, alcohol, chocolate, nowhere near enough physical exercise and a very dodgy work/life balance. Accordingly, I thought a quick run around the lake would be a good start.

Obviously, a quick run turned into a brisk walk which turned into a slow stroll which terminated in a visit to the paddock to stand in the warm sunshine, leaning on the top rail to watch the horses doze in the sunshine, all of them far too intelligent to indulge in anything as daft as annual physical checkups.

Whatever their work/life balance was, it obviously suited them perfectly. They stood under the trees, half asleep, ears drooping, tails swishing in the heat and definitely not worrying about how to shed ten pounds in four days. Actually, three and a half days now. Three pounds per day. Too much to achieve by my usual practice of going to the loo, wearing fewer clothes, and only standing on one leg. At a pinch I suppose, I could chop all my hair off but then I’d only be swapping one problem for another. Cutting my hair would inevitably lead to Mrs Partridge materialising at my elbow – I’ve no idea where she comes from – an alternate universe, perhaps – and uttering those fatal words, ‘Dr Bairstow would like a word, Dr Maxwell.’

No. My only recourse was to sabotage the scales. Somehow. I could do something with magnets, perhaps. Obviously, I’d have to be subtle about it. No one would ever believe I’d achieved optimum weight overnight – not after all these years – but I could rig them to read, say, just two pounds over my upper limit. That would be believable. Dr Salt would be so pleased I’d complied with her strict instructions and lost a whole eight pounds that she wouldn’t investigate any further.

I sighed. I was kidding myself. This was Dr Salt. There would be a full forensic examination, culminating in an extensive interrogation concerning my bowel movements and the lack thereof. It was only July. It was months before the next one was due. Trust me, the summer and winter solstices are big events in my life.

No, I was kidding myself. The only way I was going to get through next Tuesday was either to steal the scales or amputate something. Or possibly burn the building down. Hm …

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Jodi Taylor Shop & JodiWorld Events - July Update

Hello, lovely people!
Just a quick update from the Jodi Taylor Shop and JodiWorld HQ. There’s a lot happening in our corner of the multiverse, so grab a cuppa (or perhaps something stronger, depending on your day) and let me fill you in.

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Jodi Taylor Book Recommendation: Altered Carbon by Richard Morgan💙📚

For a first-time SF writer to be so surely in command of narrative and technology, so brilliant at world-building, so able to write such readable and enjoyable SF adventure, is simply extraordinary.

Have you enjoyed this book too?

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A joke from the #SillySunday thread in Jodi’s Fans and Readers Facebook Group

This one from Joe Tetsab is Wimbledon-related:

Don't have an affair with a tennis player.

Love means nothing to them.

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The Book of the Month is Hard Time

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