I’ve chosen last Monday, the 29th April – partly because it was a typical day, but mostly because I can’t remember any further back. Some days I can barely remember what I had for breakfast although, to be fair, this is mainly because I don’t have breakfast.
0600 – I’m awake! At my age there’s always a slight surprise I made it through the night. Anyway, here I am – awake. Ish. I spend ten minutes worrying about who I am, where I am, why I am, what I am and so forth, ascertain what day it is, what I’m supposed to be doing today and to whom.
Obviously there’s a bathroom visit – over which I think we should draw a veil – and then it’s into the kitchen to make a mug of tea. Picking up my tea, laptop, notes, notebooks, pens, etc I return to bed because the day’s not ready for me yet.
I read my emails, check Facebook, Amazon, and anything else that takes my fancy and then, around 0630 I’m ready to embark on the day. And yes – still in bed.
I complete the final read of Bad Moon – the fourth Elizabeth Cage book. At this stage I’m mostly changing the occasional word and putting in commas. And then taking them back out again. No – I can’t put it off any longer – it’s ready to go. This is always difficult for me. The moment I hit ‘send’ it passes out of my control. I usually alleviate the trauma by immediately starting another story. I stare at the screen. I’ll send it later.
0830 – Time to face the day. Hugely unenthusiastic but even I feel I can’t stay in bed all day.
0900 – telephone call from Hazel, who is already half way through her working day. Can I take a look at the descriptions she’s done for some of the characters in JODTAA. And finish off the others. And, at some point, write intros for the other series – Frogmorton Farm, Elizabeth Cage and the Time Police. And find my notes for the Writing Masterclass. I nod, remember I’m on the phone and say yes. Well no – there’s a fair bit of whining and grumbling on my part but eventually I say yes.
0910 – returning to Bad Moon – I have to add the acknowledgments, making sure I have everyone’s job title correct. Not always easy in a big organisation like Headline. OK – there really isn’t anything else I can do to it at this stage and the longer I faff about with it the more chance there is of inadvertently deleting the entire book. That has happened.
0920 – another cup of tea. Why not?
0922 – I need to register Storm Christopher for Public Lending Rights. This ensures I earn a miniscule royalty every time someone borrows my book from a library. Sadly, the British Library site still isn’t live – they’ve been hacked. My attempts to get through to them lead to my knackering my login and password for the Society of Authors which, incidentally, is nothing to do with PLR so I’m not sure what I was thinking there. It’s probably best I leave this alone and return to it another day when I’m calmer.
0930 – Hazel wants to talk to me about Lexie Conyngham – our Author of the Month – and the review of her book – The Fate of the Sea Stag. And the character descriptions. And the floorplan of St Mary’s I’m supposed to be putting together. Which I have actually found after a massive search, so I’m reasonably confident about discussing that.
1000 – I break off from writing because I’ve had a sudden idea for TP6 – Out of Time – about which I’m not very confident at the moment. I scribble madly before I forget. I forget so much these days. Who are you?
1100 – I can’t put it off any longer. Bad Moon is ready to go and I have to send it off because as soon as they receive it Headline can send me the edits for the Christmas story – Lights! Camera! Mayhem! This is always the worst moment for me because I know that half an hour after I’ve let it go I’ll have an idea for a brilliant new ending which will entail rewriting the last third of the book. No – I have to let it go. I hit ‘send’ and immediately have a Brilliant Idea for a new beginning which would entail rewriting the whole book. Too late now, Taylor.
1130 – I email Hazel with an idea. I could write a piece – A Day in the Life of … She’s very enthusiastic. I need more tea.
1132 – I pull up Out of Time and begin to read it through. I don’t remember any of this. The problem is that I started it last year and then was overwhelmed by an urge to write The Ballad of Smallhope and Pennyroyal. Which I did. And because I was working on Bad Moon at the same time, I’ve rather lost the thread of TP6. I work solidly until my stomach tells me it’s lunchtime. Oh look – it’s lunchtime.
1230 – Soup, I think. Healthy and nutritious. And not made by me in case anyone is anxious. And an apple. Even more nutritious. I shall probably live forever.
1235 – Lunch over. I’m still starving. Two toasted cheese muffins and some chocolate. That’s more like it.
1300 – I switch on the TV to watch today’s episode of the Let’s See What Our Politicians Have Screwed Up Today show – or The Lunchtime News as everyone else calls it. We work our way through incompetence, greed, stupidity and corruption until I decide I’ve had enough and settle back to watch an episode of the very excellent Dead Boy Detective Agency. Another Neil Gaiman winner.
1400 – Stop watching Netflix and get on with your day, Taylor. I’m half way through the character descriptions. Why do I write books with so many characters? From nowhere, I suddenly remember Headline want a Smallhope and Pennyroyal short story for next Christmas. A stonking idea for an opening suddenly occurs to me. I close Out of Time and scribble down as much as I can remember of the idea. Yes – not bad. Back to the character descriptions. I work away and realise my back is killing me. I pick up everything – laptop, notes, pens, take it all to the sofa so I can be more comfortable and thirty seconds later I’m out like a light.
I wake ten minutes later with a very nasty feeling my snores have been rattling the windows. I do the whole who am I, where am I thing again. More tea.
1415 – I stare at Out of Time. It’s the end of the month – I should be doing my accounts. I stare at my accounts. I get up, pull out the stepladder and top up my water tank. This involves the kettle, trips to the airing cupboard, stepladder climbing and a lot of spilled water. I shouldn’t have to do this – there’s a valve, apparently, but it’s stiff and I’m worried I’ll snap it off and there will be a tsunami and we’ll all drown.
1430 – I change into a dry top and resume Out of Time. Normally I have a vague idea of what the story will be and I do for OOT, it’s just that I can’t quite see how to …
An email from Headline – I’ve been invited back to the bookshop in Battersea Power Station for the launch of Killing Time (CLICK HERE for tickets). This is good news – it’s a fantastic bookshop and a good time was had by all at our previous event. I telephone the offspring to see if he can put me up. He is suspiciously enthusiastic. Doesn’t even stop to think about it. I’m very welcome. They’d love to have me. This is … odd. When questioned closely he admits he and the family are off to Italy on holiday and I can cat-sit and hasn’t that worked out well for everyone? I am less sure – Teddy threw up on me last time and I fell down the back stairs. Two separate incidents in case anyone’s wondering how I managed that.
1500 – more tea. A pile of paper catches my eye. These are scribbled notes, ideas, suggestions, things to do and so forth. All important but still in their larval state. They need to be incorporated into various notebooks before I lose them. I pull out all my ideas notebooks and set to work. It’s actually a very calming process.
1545 – My mother lets herself into my flat and frightens us both to death. She thought I was away and had come to water my plants. I open my mouth to point out no, I’m here, but at 95 she’s a tiny terrorist with a walker and I don’t want to annoy her.
1600 – I tidy my desk and once again address OOT. Do not get distracted. I’m beginning to get faint glimmerings of where the story’s going which is good. And now that Richard Dean Anderson has left Stargate there’s no reason to stop working and watch more TV. So work, Taylor.
1605 – Hazel rings to say that my brother’s books are live on Amazon and perhaps we could feature them on my Substack page sometime. I agree because then he’ll owe me and having a sibling in my debt is a Good Thing.
1610 – In the words of the song - Hello darkness, my old friend – OOT is not doing it for me. Perhaps I should work on my notes for a Writing Masterclass. I read through and decide on a structure. While I’m doing that I have another idea for a second Smallhope and Pennyroyal story.
1630 – Hazel rings to discuss a new contract with Headline. Another S&P, another TP and another St Mary’s. Three big books. I feel the traditional panic. Will I deliver? Have I still got it in me? OOT isn’t going well – is this when the world discovers I’m actually a rubbish writer? Will I have to give back my royalties? Will I be living in a cardboard box this time next year? More tea.
1800 – Back into the kitchen for yet more catering. I can have a nice healthy salad with fruit and yoghurt to follow. Bollocks to that – chicken curry and rice and cheese and biscuits. Feel much better. This is what’s wrong – I’m malnourished. No wonder I can’t concentrate. Healthy food is really bad for you. I toast another cheese muffin and slather it in butter and sit at my desk. Now I know how to get Jane and Luke to St Mary’s. And Varma and Max are a combination made in writer’s heaven. Dramatic beginning and even more dramatic ending. Yes, I’ve got this. I’ve also got a butter-covered keyboard but that’s not important.
2000 – Good God, is that the time? More tea. And I must watch that programme about Pompeii. And another episode of Dead Boy Detective Agency.
2200 – Wake up and go to bed. Tomorrow is another day.
That was brilliant Jodi!
That was fun. And delighted to hear you come of long lived stock. More books!