9. Time Police Writing Competition

Entry by Joy Wright

Regulation 847.6: The Cutty Butty Contamination

Time Police Division
Department of Temporal Compliance Investigation
Incident Report TP/847.6–J 1388

Filed by: Inspector Nathaniel Hume
Cross-reference: Ongoing issues involving Dr Isabel Hume, St Mary’s Institute (related but not a conflict of interest in this instance, neither officers involved in the event, both investigators post event).
Primary Location: North Yorkshire, close to Rievaulx Abbey c. 1388, one monastery, three dependent villages, regional trade route
Affected Unit: Team 248 Junior Officer Finley Cutty

Regulation 847.6

Officers are prohibited from transporting or consuming seeded bread products or “jam butties” during temporal deployment.
This includes all multigrain, seeded, stoneground, rustic or otherwise “enhanced” loaves containing viable plant material, whether visible or embedded.
Jam-based sandwiches are expressly forbidden due to the additional risk of intact fruit seed dispersal.

Permitted food items are restricted to the following:
Hand cut white bread of reasonable uniform composition
Ham, unseasoned, rough cut and free from visible herb matter
Hard cheese of stable origin
Egg, provided it is fully contained and not loose
Seedless mustard, mayonnaise or pickle, applied in minimal quantities
Butter, where structurally necessary

All permitted items must be consumed before departure or, where an extended deployment is required, must be consumed in the pod. At no point should food enter a live historical environment. Without exception.

Summary of Incident, Geographical and Historical Impact

The event originated with Junior Officer Finley Cutty, who brought his own lunch.
The assignment was not routine. The site had already been flagged for minor inconsistencies following a St Mary’s observation visit. Nothing serious, but enough to warrant Time Police presence in case of escalation. The instruction was to investigate and ensure that St Mary’s had managed to restrain themselves for once.

At 13:22, Officer Cutty consumed half of a jam sandwich or “posh jam buttie” constructed from seeded sourdough and raspberry preserve.
At 13:24, under pressure from troop movement and with limited situational awareness, he discarded the remaining portion.
The discarded portion was seemingly trampled into the ground by this same troop.
The ground, at that point, was already churned by foot traffic, livestock, and early ground work. Conditions were unusually ideal considering this is Northern England. Organic matter was abundant. The livestock had amply fertilised the area, confirmed by the aroma present at the site.
Within ten days, germination had begun. Initial plant growth was not noted. The seeds present included sunflower, flax and multiple intact raspberry seeds. None individually unprecedented in the burgeoning English countryside, but collectively out of place and more importantly, introduced in concentration.
The first escalation occurred when local agricultural workers identified the growth as unusually productive.
The second occurred when a nearby monastery took interest. Morning devotionals were transferred to the area and soon a shrine was built, later yielding archeological finds of a “peculiar” nature.
By the following season, the monastery had incorporated the growth into its gardens, claiming the “miracle” as their own and developing a business system which eclipsed the previous history of failure, becoming regionally and historically significant.

The monastery did not just survive where it was previously wiped out, it thrived. Villages in the area which were historically eradicated flourished. The area became a major trade route, more widely affecting land ownership and the success of the church in that area.
The eventual timeline development as far as we can predict using the Time Map indicates a gradual change until it appears to reach catastrophic proportions, eclipsing London, Birmingham and Manchester and reducing them to unknown villages as Helmsley developed as a central administrative hub, drawing trade, governance and population northwards with unexpected efficiency. North Yorkshire became the primary focus of economic and political activity. There would also be a considerable impact on international and temporal cartography and numerous other escalating changes. This is not consistent with the approved timeline and required immediate intervention.
Prolific use of the Time Map indicates the ripples affecting the whole of the developing country, the discrepancy was formally escalated to the Time Police and was found to unfortunately originate within our own team, a matter which has brought some disgrace upon the unit and Officer Cutty is currently known as “Brought his own buttie, Cutty.” Which may require attention at a later date.

Containment

Containment was complicated by the time involved in growth. St Mary’s submitted an observation note describing the development as “fascinating”. This was not helpful.
The hedgerow system resulting from raspberry spread remains under review due to its unexpected resilience. Officers on retrieval were unable to trace every individual seed in the aforementioned “jam buttie”.

Bureaucratic Outcome

Prior regulations addressed technological contamination but failed to account for food as a delivery system for viable biological material.
A full internal review followed and remains open to adjustment until such a time as the hedgerows are contained.
Initial recommendations included banning all food during deployment. This was rejected after sustained objection from field officers who, it was pointed out, still require basic function.
A revised list of permitted items was agreed after extended debate, particularly regarding jam, preserves and seeded mustard. Regulation 847.6 was drafted, amended, clarified, and issued with immediate effect.
Officer Finley Cutty has been retrained and in the short term is no longer permitted to prepare his own lunch.
Dr Isabel Hume submitted a note stating, “You cannot take a seeded loaf into the fourteenth century and expect nothing to happen.” This has been recorded, though not regarded as an opinion required.
The monastery has been returned to its expected level of influence, largely a site for archaeological students on practice digs from the local university.
This is, officially, an improvement, though hedgerow monitoring remains.

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