Simply Souper
The culinary trials of Jodi Taylor
No matter how much I try I’m completely unable to master Tesco’s ordering system. I never get the quantities right. I either end up with every tomato in the known world or just one solitary specimen and today I found myself with a superabundance of leeks. Three packets instead of three leeks. Which could happen to anyone.
Anyway, it’s been long enough for previous soup trauma memories to fade and I thought I’d have a go at leek and potato soup on the grounds that I’d have to be really unlucky to experience a disaster of that magnitude twice.
I spent ten minutes carefully dicing potatoes and leeks à la Jamie – or wildly hacking à la Taylor if you want to be more accurate. I was lucky to get away with losing only a small amount of thumb which, I think, fell into the pot. I’m calling it added body.
I also took the opportunity to harvest some herbs – it’s hydroponics central at my place at the moment and very exciting. Completely unable to tell the difference between flat-leaved parsley and coriander – they both smell like soap – I snipped at everything. Basil, dill, lemon balm and soap – it all went in. This could only be an improvement on the last effort – cauliflower and mushroom soup is unlikely ever to catch on, mostly due to its unappetising grey colour. And, I’ve had a Brilliant Idea – I shall thicken it with those cheese sauce granules, thus adding another layer of flavour. Jamie is very big on layers of flavour.
I’ve found the zhuzher – it had migrated to another cupboard completely under its own steam. I also found my old white dressing gown and an unopened box from Amazon containing a complete set of ten St Mary’s books. No idea what that’s all about.
It's all bubbling away – the windows have steamed up but nothing’s actually on fire so I’m cautiously optimistic. I have to go and work on the Out of Time edits now but I shall report back later.
Later – I may have rejoiced too soon. It’s been bubbling for thirty minutes and I’ve just tasted it. Salty, leeky and with top notes of soap. I’m not as optimistic as I was. Still, at least my feet aren’t on fire this time.
Later still – it’s gone brown. Should it go brown?
A little bit later – I’m beginning to think this isn’t going to turn out well.
Later – OK, zhuzhing now. Hmm …
A little bit later – adding cheese granules now. Stirring like a madwoman. It’s not thickening – what’s gone wrong? Oh – no – as you were – it’s fine.
OK – everything’s done. It actually looks just like soup. A sort of very pale creamy greeny colour. Good consistency. I think I’ve cracked it. Pouring myself a bowlful now. Picking up the spoon …
Sigh. Toast for lunch. Again. I don’t want to talk about it.
I think the technical term is a stick blender.
May I suggest a soup maker? You bung everything you've got (left over, or bought by mistake) in, add an onion and a stock cube, some boiling water up to the Max line (see what I did there?), season to taste (empty all those left over jars of pesto, chutney, curry paste etc), put the lid on, then press the button! 20 minutes or so later you've got soup. It always looks the same colour but tastes different every time, and if you find yourself with an end result you really, really like them hard luck, because you'll never be able to recreate it! Cauliflower leaves and stalks, mushrooms, celery, potatoes, leeks, ...: you name it, we've made soup from it. Never had a total failure, although some were more enjoyable than others.