Mutant Lemon

by Jodi Taylor

I don’t know if this sort of thing ever happens to anyone else but here goes.

It’s ten past eleven. Elevenses time. I save my work and stagger into the kitchen to put the kettle on. I assemble the bits and pieces and reach for a fresh lemon.

It’s red.

It’s a red lemon.

Will we have to start calling them reds now? Will I be saying things like, ‘I’ll have a nice slice of red in my tea, please?’

Baffled, I pick it up and stare at it. Has it gone bad and this is some kind of mould? Has the colour run from something? A damp tea-towel perhaps and somehow stained it red? Is it a reflection of some kind? Have aliens landed and mutated all our lemons?

Oh my God – is this a mutant lemon?

No – it’s an apple.

I’ll get my coat.