I don’t know if this sort of thing ever happens to anyone else but here goes.
It’s ten past eleven. Elevenses time. I save my work and stagger into the kitchen to put the kettle on. I assemble the bits and pieces and reach for a fresh lemon.
It’s red.
It’s a red lemon.
Will we have to start calling them reds now? Will I be saying things like, ‘I’ll have a nice slice of red in my tea, please?’
Baffled, I pick it up and stare at it. Has it gone bad and this is some kind of mould? Has the colour run from something? A damp tea-towel perhaps and somehow stained it red? Is it a reflection of some kind? Have aliens landed and mutated all our lemons?
Oh my God – is this a mutant lemon?
No – it’s an apple.
I’ll get my coat.
Oh you do make me laugh!! I bought some limes recently (I like them in my VAT) and left some in the fridge so long they went yellow - more mutant lemons 🍋
ROFL!!!