Controversy Corner – ‘Penny for the Guy, sir?’

Reflections on what might have happened if Guy Fawkes has succeeded

Remember, remember the 5^th of November.

Gunpowder, treason and plot.

I see no reason why gunpowder treason

Should ever be forgot.

Yes, I know I’ve missed Bonfire Night, but I saw the news item about burning effigies of certain parliamentary leaders, and it made me pause over my second mug of tea.

This is what might have happened had the plot succeeded and forgive me, but I’ve used the notes I made for A Catalogue of Catastrophe if any of it seems familiar.

OK – Guy Fawkes rowed thirty-six barrels of gunpowder across the River Thames (not all at the same time), and stored them in the undercroft or cellar beneath the House of Lords at Westminster. A lot would depend on the size of those barrels, but thirty-six barrels of any size almost certainly equals a tonne of gunpowder and probably much more.

Had Guy Fawkes actually succeeded, the explosion would have been absolutely massive. The undercroft, with its nine-foot-thick walls, would have channelled the force of the blast upwards, and the House of Lords would have been utterly destroyed. No one would have survived. In fact, the House of Lords and its surroundings would probably have been vaporised.

But things get worse.

It wouldn’t have been just James I but his two sons as well, including the future Charles I.

And every archbishop and bishop. And all their sizeable delegations.

And all the judges. And their clerks, recorders, and legal advisers.

Plus all the peers of the realm, together with their attendants.

All of them – gone in an instant.

This would be a catastrophe today, when everyone is educated and can read and write, but in those days, most people couldn’t do either. Who would have ruled the country? Who would lead? Who would administer justice? Baptise or bury people? It was less than twenty years since the Spanish Armada when Philip II of Spain attempted to invade. Under Elizabeth I, Britain had held the balance of power between France and Spain. With Britain reeling from this catastrophe and almost helpless, both countries would have attempted to take advantage. Neither could or would be prepared to see the other country move in.

And Westminster was a residential area. Many people were crammed in there. Shops, taverns, workshops, houses, stables, merchants, clergymen, labourers, tradesmen, shopkeepers, servants, families – entire households. To say nothing of the many unfortunate innocents whose business had simply brought them there that day. All would either have perished in the blast, been crushed by falling masonry, or trapped under the remains and burned alive.

Moving on from the human cost, Westminster Hall and Westminster Abbey would probably have been so badly damaged as to warrant demolishing.

The explosion would have left a vast smoking crater on the bank of the Thames which would have rushed to fill it so you could add drowning to the other causes of death as those trapped in the rubble were unable to escape.

With no one to organise a massive rescue operation many would have perished over the next few days, abandoned to their fate as the survivors fled.

Even worse would follow. A massive Protestant backlash would have seen violence and riots across the land. With no one to administer it, law and order would have completely broken down. Catholics would have been dragged from their houses and slaughtered in the streets. Men, women and children. The streets would have run with blood.

This might of course be an unnecessarily pessimistic point of view but as Max is so fond of saying – nothing happens in isolation. Everything – even the smallest incident – is connected to everything else. Had the plot succeeded our country could have been very different. Would we still even have a monarchy? Would we actually be celebrating 5^th November as the day Catholic power was reinstated in Britain and the effigy on the fire would be that of King James I.

Penny for the James, sir?

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