2. Time Police Writing Competition

Entry by Frances Harris

Time Police Regulation 847.6. Amendment to Regulation 847.5 – Provision and duties of Canine Support Officer.

Read in conjunction with;

Time Police Regulation 847.1 – Provision of support for officers facing emotional and psychological challenges.

Care plan for Officer Midnight – Canine Department – Role: emotional support.

Supplementary reading matter: The idiot’s guide to keeping a dog.

This Amendment is pertinent to the role of Officer Midnight, and any future canine officers who may be employed by the Time Police in the future. (Linear timeline applies).

Amendment 847.6/1

Officers must respect the dignity of Officer Midnight and acknowledge the role for which the said officer is employed. Please refer to Regulation 847.5 and the Care Plan.

Officer Midnight is the official name of the Canine Support Officer. She should not be referred as;

Officer Anubis

Officer Fang (Clean-up teams)

Fluffy nose, squishy bum (Admin)

Hairy Jack (those idiots at St Mary’s)

Amendment 847.6/2

All human/dog interactions are restricted to the approved areas within the Time Police Headquarters, and to the designated exercise areas without. Refer to Care Plan. Officer Midnight should be accompanied by the official canine handler at all times, or by an officer designated by said handler to accompany Officer Midnight. Officer Midnight should not leave the administration department without permission. Refer to Regulation 847.5 for guidance.

Canine officers are banned from the Time Map room.

An incident occurred because of Officer Midnight’s overwhelming love for the Map Master. The late Bronze Age Collapse nearly became the Early Bronze Age Collapse when Officer Midnight attempted to run across the floor of the Time Map to reach the object of her affection.

Officers are also forbidden from allowing Officer Midnight to travel in the lifts unescorted.

For the safety of Officer Midnight (and possibly the carp), no one should encourage the said Officer Midnight to swim in the Atrium pond.

To take Officer Midnight or any other canines, (in any role), for a jump in a Pod is a serious disciplinary offence that will result in sanctions including docking of pay, a permanent record of offence and possible dismissal.

Unfortunately, there have been several occasions when the said officer was included in a jump. Reasons for taking Officer Midnight in a Pod have included: She needed the exercise, She needed an enrichment activity, and we needed emotional support.

Officer Midnight is provided with an approved exercise and enrichment program by the official canine handler. Please refer to the Care Plan.

Officer Midnight is available by appointment during admin office hours to provide emotional support to any officer who requests it. See Regulation 847.5.

To understand what can go wrong if Officer Midnight is taken on a jump, please read the following extract from a report.

Incident report – Clean Up Crew No.5/jump 25A/date Redacted. Mission perimeters – to support Team Redacted to apprehend the religious artefact thief.

Location: North Lincolnshire countryside, early eighteenth century.

On leaving the pod, we were accompanied by Canine Officer Midnight. There were several hours to wait before we would be needed, and after sitting in the Pod, it was felt Officer Midnight would benefit from a run around. We had forgotten the lead; however, the officer was wearing a red illuminated collar that flashed, so we were confident we would not lose her. It was a moonless night, and very quiet, so we let her out into the churchyard. The officer was very keen and disappeared, but we could see the glow of the collar. After several minutes, the officer began to bark, and then appeared at the Pod, accompanied by two historians from St Mary’s, who asked us if this was our dog.

The historians were rather rude; they explained they had been researching the legend of Hairy Jack, a mythical black dog known to the area, and were rather upset to discover (to quote) “It is just a firetrucking Time Police dog.”

Further investigations into elicit jumps with Officer Midnight have concluded that at least some of the legends of a mythical black dog correlate to places visited by said officer and her red flashing collar. In addition, an incident involving a rubber-chicken dog toy led a medieval village to believe the Devil was removing the bones from their poultry. A Clean Up Crew had to be dispatched to recover said toy.

Amendment 847.6/3

Only the official handler, or persons delegated by said handler, will feed Officer Midnight.

Officer Midnight has a carefully planned diet. Refer to the Care Plan. Labradors have an insatiable appetite and will eat anything offered. It is the responsibility of all staff to help maintain Officer Midnight’s health.

Officer Midnight’s snacks are locked up and can only be accessed after a written request and signing them out at the Administration’s main office. Bringing dog treats into Headquarters is a disciplinary offence and is subject to the regulations on items banned from Time Police Headquarters. See Regulation 657.2

Officer Midnight is not to be fed human food. See Care Plan. Feeding the officer such food would contravene this regulation and result in disciplinary action.

Example: To celebrate the retrieval of the rubber chicken, the Clean Up Crew invited the officer to eat an eclair. This is an unhealthy food for a lactose-intolerant dog. The maintenance team reports that for a Clean Up Crew, they proved very reluctant to deal with the results of said eclair.

This concludes the list of amendments. These amendments are now live and must be referred to along with Regulation 847.5.

As with all regulations, Regulation 847.6 applies to all staff, and as part of their contract must be adhered to.

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